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the sin of an old man is equal to about two sins of a young man. The fable-like story of an old man's sexual obsession with a young woman is a distillation.
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But the girl, with a blush, Said the Latin for "Tush, You horrid young thing! Whatever I do, wherever I go, I am filled with woe, alack! A moment's pleasure did I know. But I'm sunburned now from head to toe. On my arms and legs and back. A young lady in crossing the ocean Grew ill from the ship's dizzy mocean. She said, with a sigh.

And a tear in her eigh, "Of living, I've no longer a nocean. And her brother and pa. Because the man hectored and boucestcr. There was a young fellow of Lee, Who went for a swim in the sea; On a rock so he said He met a mer-maid, Who offered him afternoon tea. He said he'd be always her dr.. For she gave him a smile when he mr. But she bade him be calm, And stop being a clam. For his ardent attentions upsr. When asked to state who wrote "Love and Laughter," Evasively, he said, "I don't haughter; The riddle of the sphinx Is an easy mark, methnx, I leave t'other for the great hereaughter.

The sight of one fills you with houpe, With eager haste. You try a taste.

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And get a flavor like soft soupe. I'd rather have fingers than toes; I'd rather have ears than a nose, And as for my hair I'm glad it's all there; I'll be awfully sad when it goes. The use of predigested foods Brings up a vital question, Suppose man's stomach should refuse, All outside help, and henceforth choose To do its own digestion?

With the leg of a table. He slugged brother Abel, And shouted, "Remember the Maine.

And — well, she relented. So they married and then a flat tuque. It seems that old Sir Walter Raleigh Was in love with a maiden named Daleigh; He quite lost his head Over her, it is said; She was doubtless a real hot tamaleigh. There was once a school teacher named Beauchamp, And her pupils — didn't she teachamp? Oh, the flying machine some day will fly And through the ether roam. But on its collapse, The horse, perhaps, Will be asked to haul it home. A fellow who slaughtered two toucans.

If you can put two toucans in two cans. She asked him to stay.

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But he answered, "Nay, I'm afraid to go home after darque. Bogworthy rented a suite In a building without any huite. He lived there for six months, But never kicked onths. For a surgeon has cut off his fuite.


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There was a young man of Alaska, In love with a maid of Nebraska. He sat on a hummock And rubbed his — chest; "When the ice is broken, I'll ask her. He went to a ball But was fired from the hall, Because of his scanty regalia. When his Arab steed died, ''Mighty Allah! Tried to kiss an acquaintance of his. It tangles the tongue, And you'll wear out a longue, Before you've at it a wuk.

A genius who once did aspire To invent an aerial flyer, When asked, "Does it go? But of lockjaw she died, And the coroner cried When he brought in his verdict, "A sad suicide! There once was a sporty young Mr. And if asked to work, He howls like a Turk And smashes the dishes and kictuals. A typical young girl from Arkansas Can chaw more tobacco than her ma can chaw. She can sling a little ink, Take a little drink, And saw more wood than her pa can saw.

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The typical young man from Arkansas Is never afraid of his mother-in-law. He can stay out all night, Take a hand in a fight, And ring in a cold deck on his father-in- law. A grass widow who lived in Eau Claire Tried a new-fangled bleach on her haire. And in just one night. Her hair got so light, That her head next morning was baire. They found a side-comb and a corset. So I prances down the street And throw out my feet And trip my fantastical teau. Book II, being tame, D'idn't sell quite the same — Though it bettered the lady's repute. There was a young maid from Japan Who married a Hottentot man.

The girl she was yellow. And black was the fellow. And their children were all black and tan. There was a poor fellow from Lynn, By accident sat on a pynn, He let out a shriek, A howl and a squiek. The good folks confessed She was none of the best, But I noticed they all of them bought her. But he found that a day was enough. There was a young lady from Kent, Who always said just what she meant; People said, "She's a dear; So unique — so sincere" — But they shunned her by common con- sent.

Said the widow, a pretty young Mrs. Put his arm 'round her waist.

And exclaimed: "My dear madam, thrs. By divorces and such Changed her last name so much That the composite looked like a rebus. A junior 'way down in Key West Stole his arm 'round a pretty girl's waist.

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Then she said: "If you please. Give a hard and long squeeze — For we girls all like that sort best.

The Nice Old Man and the Pretty Girl by Italo Svevo

When angry he always said d — m. When she eyed me askance Was she offended? No; She did not mean it so, When she eyed me askance, For she's cross-eyed, you know.